Happy New Year!! New year, new me! Right? Or not.. who knows.
So 2019 is over. For me it doesn’t necessarily feel like a new start, but I want to give myself a chance to create something new for myself this year. I created this blog almost 3 years ago, and I’m no where near where I want to be with it. What’s interesting is that I have had in the planner on my phone to work on my blog posts every Thursday for the last year. And every time I think of a new blog post to write about, I jot it down in my notes app… so why do I only have like 5 posts so far…?
Well, with it being a new year, let’s set some resolutions! YaY!! *eye roll* Ok… I’m not trying to sound pessimistic because I do actually have some great ideas for what I want to accomplish this year. But if I’m going to be honest, I carry a lot of doubts about whether I’m going to be able to accomplish them. I know I’m not the only person who has this sentiment, but starting a new year is a lot of pressure. It is an opportunity to put things in perspective and start a new chapter, but, where does all the stuff from the year before go? Can all the hardships, anxieties, fears, and failures really just disappear?
Nope. In fact, hell no. I see the start of the new year like a new relationship. Just because I broke up with someone in the past doesn’t mean that relationship hasn’t shaped or influenced me in some way, but just like a new relationship, some baggage needs to be dealt with so it doesn’t impede the health of the new relationship. Like… actually dealt with. Because if I could simply countdown and BOOM! Be in a new relationship… let’s just say I’d have more fireworks in my love life.
How do we actually deal with a new year? I think the first step is be present, whether it’s a new year or not. We underestimate the power to be present because so many things are happening, and we are constantly on social media and getting wrapped up in other people’s lives. I’m so guilty of this, it’s ridiculous. Two of my really good friends posted their decade in review, and they were both amazing in my opinion. As I watched their pictures from graduations, meeting the loves of their lives, weddings, babies, and being excited for the new opportunities for the next decade, I got really sad. Like full out tears on New Year’s Eve… I know. *eye roll*
We all know comparing yourselves to others is a ploy of the Devil, but I usually only think that applies to comparing yourself to celebrities. But these women are my equals, two of my best friends, and I couldn’t help but feel like I haven’t done anything with my life over the last 10 years. I don’t think I needed to get married or have kids to say I did something exciting, but I have felt like my life hasn’t really moved from the time I finished my Masters. I even know that by me saying “I have a Masters and I’m working on my Ph.D.” means I’ve done a lot! (and by no means am I ungrateful) But I think it speaks to the fact that the things we acquire don’t mean much if we aren’t able to be present and embrace what is happening in our lives now. The beauty of being present is that it holds no expectations. You’re here. You’re now. You’re you. And whether you’re sharing you with the new year, or a new person, being you is enough. And honestly, that’s all you can do anyway.
The next thing for really dealing with the new year is to reflect. Acknowledge what happened to you during the last year. Notice the things that you loved. Notice the things that hurt you. Now make a decision about what you want to do about it. This doesn’t have to be rushed because keep in mind you are still working on being present, but make the time to decide on where you want to go with what you learned. Don’t be afraid to question yourself, and if you don’t know find some support. Here’s a hint, we are all trying to figure things out, so maybe somebody has an answer for you.
Then, make a plan and have check in points where you ask yourself if this is what you really want. Guess what? You aren’t set in stone. You can change your mind.
And FINALLY… Be grateful. Life is hard and you’ve made it through each day. You can rewire your brain to be happy by simply recalling 3 things your grateful for every day… At least that’s what Instagram told me. But I’ve done it, and it works.
The reality is the New Year is going to come whether you are prepared for it or not. New opportunities and new mistakes. It doesn’t make sense to try to hide from it or avoid it. Saying that you just want to “work on me” isn’t going to cut it. We learn more about ourselves through experiences and so we have to EMBRACE what life has for us now. Be kind to yourself and get your ish together 😊. #NoFear2020
“Forget about what’s happened; don’t keep going over old history. Be alert, be present. I’m about to do something brand-new. It’s bursting out! Don’t you see it? There it is! I’m making a road through the desert, rivers in the badlands.” Isaiah 43:18-19 MSG.
Here are some questions I asked myself to help me get into the new year:
- What’s one small way you can become a better person in 2020? For others, for yourself?
I can become a better person in 2020 by complimenting myself more, not letting negative thoughts win. For others, I would like to be honest.
- What are you holding onto currently that’s no longer serving you? Why are you holding on? What’s one small step you can take towards releasing it?
Dwelling on the past and trying to apply it to my present. I don’t understand why certain people treat me they way they do. But I want to release it by having more faith in myself.
- Set a goal for 2020 that excites you. Set a goal that scares you.
Present at conference – scary. Plan a 2-day vacation on my own – exciting
- What do you want to be a student of in 2020?
Social dancing, business – building a brand, study my bible.
- Who in your life deserves the biggest thank you for this year? Let them know if you can.
Jesus, myself
- What can you thank yourself for this year?
Being able to love myself more.
- What have you outgrown this year?
I’ve outgrown nonsense in my relationships.
- What’s an important boundary you’d like to set for 2020?
Saying what I want. I’m going to do the things I say I’m going to do. For myself!
- What’s a memory this past year that makes you smile just thinking about it?
Sharing my dance story with others
Hello Fear 